If I yell something 'nice' to girl in the street why is that a big deal?
Firstly, imagine if some woman probably twice your age, maybe missing a few teeth came up you and said 'Lovely little ballsack you got there!'
How do you feel?
Now imagine she asks for your number and you politely say no and she doesn't care or listen, she just keeps asking again and again.
How do you feel? (Something like 'Can you respect me old lady?')
Then she flashes her vagina after you've made it clear you don't want to give her your number. Then she chases you down the streets.
Do you feel like you asked for that?
What if I just want to compliment her though?
Okay, here's where it gets tricky and sticky. We all love compliments, we all deserve them and they make us feel good. But the reason sometimes a certain type of compliment can be offensive is because they objectify us; that compliment confirms to us that all men care about is how we look. It reinstates that belief that all women need to look a certain way and it's the only way we will we be noticed, appreciated and worth something. THATS NOT TRUE BY THE WAY!
Yeah but why is that even a big deal if its not true?
Because most women of all ages feel like we aren't enough. We start teaching this discipline to young girls and they begin a very painful journey of trying to be beautiful and hating themselves. And one day throughout all the misery and self hatred she thinks to herself 'oh maybe it doesn't matter the way I look maybe it's about who i am as a person!'And then when you say to her 'Nice legs you got there!'. BOOM. Confidence shattered. Negative belief affirmed.
So what I can't talk to women anymore?
No, thats not the point. The kindness of strangers is a wonderful thing. And by all means if you see someone and you feel like it's a mutual attraction then go for it! But if she says no, respect her, don't persist and don't get angry. It's her choice. SHES NOT A BITCH! But if your intention is purely sexual and you're not 100% sure it's mutual then try to refrain from it. This may come across as surprising but we find it offensive when men say something like 'you're fit, can I have your number?'
We also know that the kind of guy that approaches us like that, will do that to any girl he thinks he's got a chance with...just incase you're gonna start the romantic debate.
But we also know that some of us do want to be approached by a man we fancy or we want approach them...so if we eliminated the issue then guys, gals and LGBTQ+ could all approach each other. HAPPILY EVER AFTER.